Question:
Assalamualaikum Dato’ Seri. I’m married for nearly 3 years and hasn’t had a child yet. Me and my husband have a problem to conceive but I will not elaborate further on this. My relationship with my husband is good and we are happy. I want to ask, are we considered sinful for not putting in the effort to have a child because we are not prepared to get advice from specialist or undergo the treatment needed? Maybe we are not ready to have a child yet. Are we sinful for not putting in the effort to have a child? Hope for an explanation. Thank you.
Answer:
Alhamdulillah, praise and thanks to Allah for the countless blessings He has blessed us all with. Blessings and salutations to the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, his wives, his family, companions and all those that follow his teachings to the day of judgement.
A child is a gift from Allah SWT for His slaves. This could be seen through the statement of Allah SWT:
يَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَاءُ إِنَاثًا وَيَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَاءُ الذُّكُورَ
“He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males.”
Surah al-Syura (49)
The same is stated in the following verse:
أَوْ يُزَوِّجُهُمْ ذُكْرَانًا وَإِنَاثًا ۖ وَيَجْعَلُ مَن يَشَاءُ عَقِيمًا ۚ إِنَّهُ عَلِيمٌ قَدِيرٌ
“Or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent.”
Surah al-Syura (50)
Syeikh al-Maraghi said that Allah SWT blesses daughters to whomever He wills and blesses sons to whomever He wills. Allah SWT also blesses both daughters and sons to whomever He wills as well as not blessing whomever He will with any children. (Refer Tafsir al-Maraghi, 13/6174)
In answering the above question, the married couple who do not have a child is not considered as sinful in syarak’s perspective. The reason is, only Allah SWT has the power to bestow lineage upon whoever slaves that He wills. The same goes for if they do not try to have a child, they are not sinful. However, they should know the benefits that they could receive through having children. From Abu Hurairah RA, the Prophet PBUH said:
إِذَا مَاتَ الإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَمَلُهُ إِلاَّ مِنْ ثَلاَثَةٍ مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ وَعِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ وَوَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ
“When a man dies, his acts come to an end, but three, recurring charity, or knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious son, who prays for him (for the deceased).”
Sahih Muslim (1631)
Conclusion
Islam encourages every married couple to want to have children. For those who do not have a child after trying or not trying using alternative treatments to conceive is not considered as sinful according to syarak. The reason is, only Allah SWT has the right and power to create every life on this earth. This is in accordance with a hadith narrated by Abu Said al-Khudri, where the Prophet PBUH said:
لَيْسَتْ نَفْسٌ مَخْلُوقَةٌ إِلَّا اللَّهُ خَالِقُهَا
“For there is no created soul, whose creator is not Allah.”
Sahih al-Bukhari (7409) and Sahih Muslim (1438)
Hopefully, this explanation will give us a better understanding in learning the religion of Islam. Amin.