Question:
Assalamualaikum Dato’ Mufti. Insyallah we will soon be celebrating Eid after the end of Ramadhan. Every Eid, I feel guilty to join my family gatherings for Eid celebration. The reason is, no one ever advise my family regarding aurah between cousins and in-laws. What should I do to advise my family to properly cover their aurah, at the same time without being disrespectful to the elderly present during these gatherings?
Answer
Alhamdulillah, praise and thanks to Allah for the countless blessings He has blessed us all with. Blessings and salutations to the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, his wives, his family, companions and all those that follow his teachings to the day of judgement.
Allah SWT has decreed the bounds of aurah for man and woman. Every Muslim individual is obligated to cover the aurah and protect the dignity where ever the person is. Aurah is body parts that is prohibited to be seen to other man or woman. (Refer al-Mausû’ah al Fiqhiyah al Kuwaitiyah, 31:44)
Allah SWT states:
وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَائِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَائِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي أَخَوَاتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَائِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُنَّ أَوِ التَّابِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُولِي الْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ أَوِ الطِّفْلِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا عَلَىٰ عَوْرَاتِ النِّسَاءِ ۖ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّ ۚ وَتُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّـهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ
“And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.”
Surah al-Nur (31)
The above verse is used as evidence by scholars to rule covering aurah for man and woman as an obligation. The same is stated in a hadith of the Prophet PBUH, where the Prophet PBUH rebuked Asma’ bin Abu Bakar RA:
يَا أَسْمَاءُ إِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ إِذَا بَلَغَتِ الْمَحِيضَ لَمْ يَصْلُحْ أَنْ يُرَى مِنْهَا إِلَّا هَذَا وَهَذَا
“O Asma', when a woman reaches the age of menstruation, it does not suit her that she displays her parts of body except this and this, and he pointed to his face and hands.”
Sunan Abu Daud (4104) and al-Baihaqi (3218)
Other than that, purposely looking at the aurah of someone else is prohibited in Islam. The Prophet PBUH prohibit a believer from looking at the aurah of each other, the Prophet PBUH said:
لاَ يَنْظُرُ الرَّجُلُ إِلَى عَوْرَةِ الرَّجُلِ وَلاَ الْمَرْأَةُ إِلَى عَوْرَةِ الْمَرْأَةِ، وَلاَ يُفْضِي الرَّجُلُ إِلَى الرَّجُلِ فِي ثَوْبٍ وَاحِدٍ، وَلاَ تُفْضِي الْمَرْأَةُ إِلَى الْمَرْأَةِ فِي الثَّوْبِ الْوَاحِدِ
“A man should not see the private parts of another man, and a woman should not see the private parts of another woman, and a man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering.”
Sahih Muslim (38)
Hence, it is obligatory to cover the aurah from being seen by others in any situation, at the same time protecting ourselves from looking at the aurah of others.
Customary in our tradition, during Eid people will go back to their hometown to gather and celebrate with family members which consists of mother, father, siblings and relatives. However, the sad thing about such gatherings is that aurah is then taken lightly when everyone is together inside a house.
In regards to the situation of the one who asked, such situations should be avoided with wisdom and according to the capability of someone. The Prophet PBUH said:
مَنْ رَأَى مِنْكُمْ مُنْكَرًا فَلْيُغَيِّرْهُ بِيَدِهِ، فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِلِسَانِهِ، فَإِنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَبِقَلْبِهِ، وَذَلِكَ أَضْعَفُ الْإِيمَانِ
“Whosoever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart — and that is the weakest of faith.”
Sahih Muslim (49)
When someone in a situation in which sinful acts such as not covering the aurah intentionally in front of cousins and in-laws, he should advise them against it and remind them regarding the prohibition against this act. Advising others depends on the capability of the person, whether preventing it through the authority that he has, such as advising his siblings and family members who are younger or are around the same age as he is.
Conclusion
Hence, lastly, we would like to advise and suggest several methods that may be suitable for your situation. There are as the following:
- Convey the message to the most respected family member such as the father or eldest son, so that they could advise others to be concerned regarding the matter of aurah.
- Segregating the place and build a barrier between man and woman between cousins and in-laws to ensure the maintenance of the covering of aurah especially when changing clothes, sleeping and others.
- Send tazkirah (reminders) regarding the matters pertaining aurah in Whatsapp groups of family members.
- Discuss the issue of aurah with family members to create awareness in them to be concerned about it.
- Gifting family members with branded aurah covering clothing to motivate your family to wear aurah covering clothes.
We make doa for you so that you will be able to change and prevent such things from happening again in the future. May Allah SWT bless us with taufiq and hidayah to continue doing good and worship Him in obedience towards Him. Amin.
Wallahua’alam.