Question:
Assalamualaikum. Is it true that making one’s parents cry is included as a major sin? Is there a hadith which explains this matter?
Answer:
Waalaikumussalam wrt wbt,
Alhamdulillah, praise and thanks to Allah for the countless blessings He has blessed us all with. Blessings and salutations to the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, his wives, his family, companions and all those that follow his teachings to the day of judgement.
As a child, it is an obligation for him to practice ihsan towards his parents. The reason is there are numerous evidences in both the Quran and hadith regarding the commandment to always do good and practice ihsan towards one’s parents.
- Allah SWT states:
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.”
Surah al-Isra’ (23)
Dr Wahbah al-Zuhaili said in his commentary on the above hadith, Allah SWT bound numerous verses related to worship with the commandment of doing good and practising ihsan towards one’s parents with the best behaviour when communicating or dealing with them. The reason is they are the absolute reason after Allah SWT for the existence of humans. (See Tafsir al-Munir, 15/54)
According to the above question, we did not find any hadith that mention about making one’s parents cry as one of major sins except an athar from Ibnu Umar R.Anhuma as recorded by Imam al-Bukhari in his book al-Adab al-Mufrad:
- From Abdullah bin Umar R.Anhuma:
بُكَاءُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ مِنَ الْعُقُوقِ وَالْكَبَائِرِ
"Making parents weep is part of disobedience and one of the major wrong actions." (See al-Adab al-Mufrad (31), 1/25)
Although the athar is from Ibnu Umar R.Anhuma and not from the Prophet PBUH, if a person’s parents cry because of his bad actions, then it is considered as a sin for it falls under the act of disobedience towards his parents. The reason is the punishment for the sin of disobeying one’s parents is hastened by Allah SWT even in this world.
- The Messenger of Allah PBUH once said:
كُلُّ الذُّنُوبِ يُؤَخِّرُ اللَّهُ مَا شَاءَ مِنْهَا إِلَى يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ إِلاَّ عُقُوقَ الْوَالِدَيْنِ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى يُعَجِّلُهُ لِصَاحِبِهِ فِي الْحَيَاةِ قَبْلَ الْمَمَاتِ
“Every sin will be delayed by Allah SWT of its punishment according to His will until the day of Judgement in the hereafter except the disobedience towards one’s parents. Thus, indeed, Allah SWT will punish the sinner while he is still alive before his death.”
Narrated by al-Hakim (7263)
Conclusion
To conclude, parents are a great blessing for every individual. Thus, it is the obligation of every child to take care of their parents offering the best service and care as long as they do not ask us to disobey Allah SWT. Lastly, may Allah SWT make us from the pious and righteous children who always take good care of their parents forever when their parents are alive or even after their parents’ death. Amin.